My own set of tools to feel ok at social events when I'd rather stay home.
...
Let's be fair there are times when we'd rather stay home, yet, I made a
promise to attend a specific social event and it's in my nature to keep
my word. So, I go.
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Arriving at the venue feels like on planet mars : zero familiar face.
✅ STEP 1 : I smile and head confidently to the refreshment table (generally the wine table).
✅ STEP 2 : I keep looking around, still no familiar face in sight.
At this stage, pretending to be busy with my phone is out of question.
✅ STEP 3 : I tell myself it's statistically impossible that within the
40 or so people already present, I could be the ONLY "free electron".
Since body language seldom lies, 4 meters away, I am spotting another undercover "free electron".
✅ STEP 4 : Smiling, I head confidently towards the person and ask : " May I ask, what brought you here ?"
With such aplomb, he/she is convinced I am the organizer of this event.
To sum up : All of us can use any of these tools :
1) smile 2) look for a person apparently in the same mind frame
3) ask a direct question about the reason to be here, deliberately
bypassing the meaningless small talk. The direct question, if asked
politely immediately opens up the field for a meaningful exchange; and
to me, this is what networking should be about.
These steps are a small part of my "Better Networking" workshop.