What happened to me yesterday morning was a moment I truly appreciated.
I was enjoying a coffee at one of my favorite spots while reading a book ...
when a group of mainland tourists arrived. Some ordered takeout, while others chose to sit and enjoy a drink for a while.
Two ladies, equipped with a Chinese guidebook, asked in English if they could share my table. I nodded, "Yes, of course," and everything seemed fine.
However, within a few minutes, an uncomfortable feeling began to take hold of me. I realized that my Chinese was seriously lacking, as I couldn't understand a single word of their conversation.
- Were the two ladies speaking too quickly?
- Had my Chinese suddenly regressed to an irreversible point?
- Were they Shanghainese?
After a few moments, I figured it out! The whole scene preceding their arrival at my table had led me to automatically assume they were Chinese, when in fact, they were two Korean ladies obviously speaking Korean.
I was relieved—and I recognized the trick my mind had played on me.
The FRAME I had was the wrong one.
Understanding the concept of "frames" is crucial in communication. Frames significantly influence both listening and speaking. A frame is the perspective you adopt consciously or unconsciously when listening to a story or addressing an issue.
As illustrated in the image below, most issues are multidimensional and can appear different from various angles—though not every angle is necessarily acceptable or valid.
Using the wrong frame can lead to significant communication challenges, whether you're trying to persuade, diagnose issues, make judgments, or suggest solutions.
Frames matter.
